Drugs: Red Bull. 3g of that same shit I had yesterday. Topical anesthetic and local anesthetic. 3g more of that same shit I had yesterday. MORE TOPICAL ANESTHETIC AND LOCAL ANESTHETIC. A handful of ibuprofen. A FUCKING FACE FULL OF VICODIN.
The law of unintended consequences: sure, those bags of Lemonheads sure tasted good. But fourteen years or so later, you are going to pay so badly for your crimes. Originally had appointment for fillings. Had fillings, the dentist at one point pretty much said holy shit and ran off to find the insurance girl while the assistant installed something that she made me guess about because she wasn't allowed to "diagnose" me. Ended up that what she was installing was a temporary filling and making me an appointment for a fucking root canal.
An aside: every little child has instilled in them from the age of zero that root canals are a Bad Thing.
I actually started shaking at first with rage when my insurance started playing rope-a-dope goalpost moving games to weasel their way into only paying 30% of said root canal. I am now convinced that insurance girls have their own special place in heaven where they are fed grapes by the guys that starred in 300. Then magically the 30% turned into 80% and I was whisked away to the endodontist, whereupon I started shaking because I hadn't had caffeine since way too early in the morning.
Finally I started shaking because the endodontist had a needle the size of a motherfucking harpoon, and he wasn't afraid to use it. Liberally. In that my ears are still numb from the Kodak Dental Systems (yes, that Kodak) anesthetic.
(By some stroke of genius, the endodontist had an LCD TV mounted to the ceiling for me to watch while getting drilled, filed, and cemented. It must be the only one that exists outside of Cribs.)
So now that I have ibuprofen and Vicodin in my face it's time to sleep it off, I think.
P.S. A hearty FUCK YOU goes out to Aetna for wanting to send me 200 miles to get my root canal. Go die in a fire.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Regimen
Drugs: Centrum multivitamin and 3g Arginine alpha-Ketoglutarate. B-vitamins, massive dose. Red bull, 3g more of Arginine alpha-Ketoglutarate. Red bull. Two cans Pabst Blue Ribbon, somewhat chilled.
Generally mornings are spent stumbling into the shower, but if it's an "AM" then I'm obligated to meet a friend at the gym for working out and occasionally vomit. Yesterday we went to buy sups from his grocery store: the Vitamin Shoppe. I got off relatively easily, only purchasing BODYTECH NoX 3000. You could feel the testosterone dripping off the hilariously unoriginal marketing campaigns. According to said marketing, I was supposed to feel extra pump and increased blood flow, but all I felt was uncomfortably horny from 8 to 2.
Needed Red Bull to push through the 3 o'clock hour, of course.
PBR is an interesting animal. According to the aforementioned friend, it won a frat house blind taste test. Freezing cold, it was a surprisingly good mate to my seared tuna. As it warmed, it began to smell more like the trash can right beside the 25 cent Coke machine at church camp that didn't get emptied the entire week.
Sticking to wine would be a good idea, I expect.
Generally mornings are spent stumbling into the shower, but if it's an "AM" then I'm obligated to meet a friend at the gym for working out and occasionally vomit. Yesterday we went to buy sups from his grocery store: the Vitamin Shoppe. I got off relatively easily, only purchasing BODYTECH NoX 3000. You could feel the testosterone dripping off the hilariously unoriginal marketing campaigns. According to said marketing, I was supposed to feel extra pump and increased blood flow, but all I felt was uncomfortably horny from 8 to 2.
Needed Red Bull to push through the 3 o'clock hour, of course.
PBR is an interesting animal. According to the aforementioned friend, it won a frat house blind taste test. Freezing cold, it was a surprisingly good mate to my seared tuna. As it warmed, it began to smell more like the trash can right beside the 25 cent Coke machine at church camp that didn't get emptied the entire week.
Sticking to wine would be a good idea, I expect.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Back from the dead?
Drugs: Three Red Bulls, sugared. Triple iced coffee, six pumps classic. Forgettable pinot noir, Blanton's (neat). TTT Trinidad, 5.0 x 50.
I have come to realize that I can describe my days in terms of the substances I use as I go through them, so this blog has a purpose again. If you were to read the older entries (not recommended), note that the experiment fell through or this would be a very different entry.
Began my day at precisely 4:13 AM, smashing the snooze button. Managed to only be three minutes late for my 6 AM shift -- expected to be doing much handholding, was not disappointed. The first Red Bull helped me hold myself together until the client finally got on site around 8. Finished the first and had started on the second right about the time the client and I realized the script for the morning had been put together by a bunch of trained monkeys. The third one was an afterthought, didn't really realize I was drinking it until the client's boss laughed at me because (apparently) I was shaking.
Got out of jail, grabbed my book, and went to Starbucks to indulge in vice #2. The total always seems to be different when I order a double ice coffee. This time it came out to $3.01, so I had them make it a triple so they didn't have to count out 99 cents. The one redeeming factor of that piece of shit movie Blood Diamond is the phrase TIA -- This Is Africa. Got about halfway through Ayaan Hirsi Ali - Infidel. Africa shouldn't be a place that's only spoken of in terms of a place to escape from.
Was often distracted by the scenery, but I still haven't figured out how to hit on someone at Starbucks. It would be easier if all the baristas didn't know me, but it's bad form to shit where you eat.
Followed up with some relatively uninspiring thai. The glass of wine complemented the meal (expensive but not extraordinary); meal was redeemed by the bourbon. Blanton's still manages to be the least inspiring top-shelf bourbon, but them having it was impressive enough that I had to drink it.
After dinner I was taking the TTT Trinidad to the dock for a relaxing evening. In Nashville, nature was a fat squirrel dragging a bagel up an oak tree. Here springtime is dropped in your lap. I managed to avoid all the frogs on the sidewalk, but I got downpoured on a little bit before ducking into the pool house to enjoy the smoke.
Still haven't managed to find a cigar that I truly enjoy past the first two draws. Still managed to smoke that one until it came apart. Nicotine is new for me, after I spend an hour with it it makes me do things, like call people. Called the girl I have no chance with and let her know that if she doesn't want to see me she should just tell me. Called the girl from freshman year for no particular reason.
Decided to bring the blog back from the dead.
Thought about calling you, but decided against it.
I have come to realize that I can describe my days in terms of the substances I use as I go through them, so this blog has a purpose again. If you were to read the older entries (not recommended), note that the experiment fell through or this would be a very different entry.
Began my day at precisely 4:13 AM, smashing the snooze button. Managed to only be three minutes late for my 6 AM shift -- expected to be doing much handholding, was not disappointed. The first Red Bull helped me hold myself together until the client finally got on site around 8. Finished the first and had started on the second right about the time the client and I realized the script for the morning had been put together by a bunch of trained monkeys. The third one was an afterthought, didn't really realize I was drinking it until the client's boss laughed at me because (apparently) I was shaking.
Got out of jail, grabbed my book, and went to Starbucks to indulge in vice #2. The total always seems to be different when I order a double ice coffee. This time it came out to $3.01, so I had them make it a triple so they didn't have to count out 99 cents. The one redeeming factor of that piece of shit movie Blood Diamond is the phrase TIA -- This Is Africa. Got about halfway through Ayaan Hirsi Ali - Infidel. Africa shouldn't be a place that's only spoken of in terms of a place to escape from.
Was often distracted by the scenery, but I still haven't figured out how to hit on someone at Starbucks. It would be easier if all the baristas didn't know me, but it's bad form to shit where you eat.
Followed up with some relatively uninspiring thai. The glass of wine complemented the meal (expensive but not extraordinary); meal was redeemed by the bourbon. Blanton's still manages to be the least inspiring top-shelf bourbon, but them having it was impressive enough that I had to drink it.
After dinner I was taking the TTT Trinidad to the dock for a relaxing evening. In Nashville, nature was a fat squirrel dragging a bagel up an oak tree. Here springtime is dropped in your lap. I managed to avoid all the frogs on the sidewalk, but I got downpoured on a little bit before ducking into the pool house to enjoy the smoke.
Still haven't managed to find a cigar that I truly enjoy past the first two draws. Still managed to smoke that one until it came apart. Nicotine is new for me, after I spend an hour with it it makes me do things, like call people. Called the girl I have no chance with and let her know that if she doesn't want to see me she should just tell me. Called the girl from freshman year for no particular reason.
Decided to bring the blog back from the dead.
Thought about calling you, but decided against it.
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